Ick: “An action done by a romantic interest that is an instant no in your opinion.”

Ew, that thing they just did was such an ick.

I was sitting on the porch with some friends the other day when we started to talk about things that men do that we see as an ick. Some of the most notable examples included: riding a tandem bike, asking a drive thru cashier what all comes in a combo meal, and sitting crisscross applesauce. 

That conversation inspired me to make my own list of icks. But, because this blog is about coffee, I have written a themed list. I now present- Coffee Shop Date Icks:

• Ordering a black coffee and making a big deal about how they don’t “need all that cream and sugar” and how “there should be a separate line for those of us ordering plain regular coffee.” Drinking black coffee does not make you special or unique. Stop trying to flex your so-called “superior pallet.” 
• Ordering a super complicated drink with a mile long list of modifications. Asking for sugar-free syrup or alternative milk is one thing, asking for your beverage at a specific temperature is another. It feels like you’re going out of your way to make the barista’s job harder. 
• Getting a frozen coffee. This is only acceptable if it is like 90° outside. 
• Makes some joke that disses alternative milk. Ie- “How do you milk an almond!?” You’re not funny, and you sound like my dad. 
• Asking for whipped cream on your coffee. Grow up. Whipped cream is for milkshakes and sundaes. We are on a very adult date right now, and I am embarrassed. 
• Talking way too loud for the vibes. You gotta respect the energy. If you’re being so loud that other tables overhear every detail about your life, then we’re not on a date anymore, we’re on a talk show. 
• If you’re officially dating and they don’t take a cute picture. I have always been the one in the relationship to take all the fun candids of the other. When’s it my turn to be soft launched?!?